


A Broken Promise

by peterpannerisms (prouvairecateur)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Brief reference to The Winter Soldier, But no real spoilers, M/M, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-30
Updated: 2014-04-30
Packaged: 2018-01-21 07:59:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1543451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvairecateur/pseuds/peterpannerisms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whenever Steve does sleep, it is not peacefully.</p>
<p>Images burn in the back of his mind the minute he closes his eyes, often time it is a single memory that keeps him up into the early hours of the morning. A single moment in which his whole world changed.</p>
<p>The moment he lost his best friend. </p>
<p>[Steve visits Bucky's grave to say his goodbyes.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Broken Promise

**Author's Note:**

> This was just something I wrote last night that kind of got away from me. Hope you like it.

Whenever Steve does sleep, it is not peacefully.

Images burn in the back of his mind the minute he closes his eyes, often time it is a single memory that keeps him up into the early hours of the morning. A single moment in which his whole world changed.

The moment he lost his best friend. 

He asks himself why it was Bucky and not him. Even more so he hates himself, knowing he is the reason they were on the train that day. Bucky was not going to let Steve go after HYDRA alone, and he knew that. And yet he did not think twice about asking the man to be there with him, by his side.

Most of all, he regrets not being able to say goodbye. To say goodbye to the last family he had. After he woke up from being frozen all of those years, the first thing he did was hop on a plane to DC to pay a visit to Arlington National Cemetary. He knew that was where Bucky’s grave was, or at least where the gravestone had been. 

Standing in front of the engraved slab of stone, what was left of his closest companion, he remembered the conversation they had had after his mother’s funeral.  _I am with you ‘til the end of the line,_ Bucky had told him. And Steve believed him. Of course he did. In all the years they had known each other, Bucky was not one to break a promise, not a promise he made to Steve. 

He sat next to the grave for a good part of a day, lost in his thoughts of the man. Steve had been so numb the entire morning that he had not realized when the tears had started falling down his cheek and onto his lap. At least, he had not noticed until a woman had walked by and asked if he was alright. The man nodded and quickly swiped at his face, trying his best to plaster on a polite grin. 

"You don’t have to always be strong, dear," the lady assured him, placing a small hand on his shoulder in support. Her eyes glanced at the writing on the gravestone next to where this stranger sat. "Was this man your father? Grandfather?"

"He was family," was Steve’s short reply. He took a deep, ragged breath before continuing. "Just never got to say goodbye."

The woman nodded in understanding. “Well, it might help to say it now then, hmmm?” she suggested with a kind, motherly smile. His only response this time was a single nod of his head. With that, the woman gave him one last glance before continuing on her way.

Steve sighed and looked to Bucky’s grave once more before laughing, quietly and humorlessly. “I can’t believe I am going to talk to this stone like you can actually hear me, but she has a point.” He looked down at his hands for a moment and then up to the clear sky above him. “I miss you, Buck. You were always there for me when I needed you. Hell, you were there even when I didn’t. I know you thought I no longer needed you here, now that I could fight my own battles, but that wasn’t true. I may be able to take care of myself now, but that doesn’t mean I can get by without you here with me.” The man ran a hand through his hair and swallowed the lump forming in his throat. “I guess what I am trying to say is that I don’t know how I am going to do this without you.”

He sat there in silence for several moments, and there was a split second where he had almost convinced himself that Bucky would say something in return. That he would tell Steve to stop moping around and go live the life he had always wanted. At least, it’s what he would have said. With a smile, he leaned over slightly, just enough so his hand would run along the smooth stone, tracing over the letters of his friend’s name. “I miss you, Buck,” he repeated before standing to leave.

Before he could even take three steps from the grave site, he turned back around. The words rang out in his head again, Bucky’s voice clear as though he had heard it yesterday… 

_I am with you ‘til the end of the line._

With one last grim smile, Steve turned away once more with a whisper only he could hear. 

_ "One promise you could never keep." _

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me and say hi to me [here](http://peterpannerisms.tumblr.com). Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!


End file.
